I have too much to say about this load of pretentious pseudo-”artistic” nonsense also known as “ef – a tale of memories” to put in my short round up, so it gets it’s own post…

What on earth were SHAFT thinking when they made this? It looked like it could have been quite good, but sadly it’s been ruined by a bunch of random animation effects every few seconds. Do we really need that many camera cuts, zoom outs, pans of clouds? Heck even Kyon in ep 1 of Haruhi can point out pointless could pans, and there were only 2 of them in that episode, ef episode 1 has bloody 72 shots of clouds…. 72 FFS (on average 1 every 20 seconds)!!!

I took the liberty of going through the whole episode and making a tally of all the pointless effects they’ve used, and i’ve gotta say i’m impressed, the random effects far outweighed any normal scenes in the show:

Shot of clouds: 72
Zoomed out shot when people talking: 38
Half of head when talking: 26
Random glow: 23
Shot of random object: 18
Black & white scene: 17
Random colour overlay: 17
Shot of hands: 15
Zoomed in shot of eye: 11
Silhouette: 9
Shot of feet: 7
Shot of sea: 6
Sunset scene: 5
Shot of shadow: 5
Shot of moon: 5
Paintbrush filter: 4
Random blur: 2
Random glare: 2
Random letter boxed image: 2
Picture in picture: 1

Are they trying to hide their lack of animation budget by in fact having no animation whatsoever in the show, just people standing still talking with a random photoshop filter and some clouds every few seconds to distract everyone. If so, i think they might have gone a little bit over the top.

Or is it someone bought them a new animation program and like a 5 year old with a new transformer wanted to try out every single option the program had to offer (all in the space of 24 minutes?).

Or… do they possibly think that this turd they have produced is called “art”, because if so, the only people they are fooling are themselves.

As said over here, this is not Pani Poni Dash, Negima, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, why ruin a perfectly good show with pretentious “artistic” (as i’m sure they like to call it) bollocks, all this reminds me why i avoid Covent Garden in London, full of pretentious “artists” painting everywhere. Art classes these days need a module on “how not to be an ass”.

I think we can all come up with a few alternative names for it, anyone want to add any?

ef – a tale of cloud pans

ef – a tale of photoshop filters

Hmm…where to start…ah, i know…the journey into town.

The journey into town by bike is slightly annoying (no, not because i have to go up 2 hills to get there), because of the size of the pavement, and the people on it…they just won’t move out of the way!! (yes, i know it’s illegal to ride bikes on the pavement, so i can’t really complain) But what’s worse is when you get a bunch of people who insist on walking in the bike lane as well as the path…GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY BEFORE I RUN YOU AND YOUR DAMN PRAM OVER!!!

Now, once i’m in town, and on foot, things just get even more annoying, there are too many slow people…AARGH!! If only they could hear the mental screams of dispair comming from my head! Another annoying thing about people in town, there’s always someone who insists on stopping right in front of you, ahh, if only beatings with baseball bats were legal! Another thing, the escalators…why do people just stand on them like lemons?! If you wanna stand still GO USE THE DAMN LIFT!! I WANNA WALK UP THE ESCALATOR SO I ACTUALLY GET TO THE NEXT FLOOR FASTER THAN I WOULD IF I TOOK THE STAIRS, DAMN SLOW ********!! (at least stand to one side if you’re gonna stand still on the escalators…like the London Underground, so we normal people have a chance of finishing our shopping before dawn the next day!)

Also, why are there so many damn chav’s in town, they really irritate me (they don’t do anything in particular, it’s just their presence that makes the place look like a dump!). I’ve been tempted for a while now to get some spraypaint and go to the edge of Crawley at night to change the welcome signs to “Welcome to Chav-ley”. Ugh…i bet other countries (with the exception of America, Canada, and some of Europe) don’t have chav’s.

One thing that annoys me sometimes is seeing someone you know, and have them completly ignore you…like fine…if you can’t be bothered to say hello then i’m ignoring you if i ever see you again.

This might contradict my last statement, but oh well…seeing someone you know, and have them say hello to you. That just really annoys me too, i’m in town for a reason, i don’t particularly want to talk to you, go away, and don’t expect a response from me either. If i wanted to talk to you i’d phone you or something.

So, if you ever see me in town, either hope i don’t see you, then ignore me, or if i see you, say hello, then get lost!

The return journey you would expect to be much more enjoyable, since i get to go down two hills on my bike, but oh no…those DAMN SLOW CHAV’S ARE WALKING THEIR CHILDREN (WHICH THEY PROBABLY HAD WHEN THEY WERE 10) IN THE BIKE LANE, SO I CAN’T SPEED UP…AND THEN WHEN I RIDE PAST THEM AS A SOMEWHAT ABOVE AVERAGE SPEED THEY FRIKKEN START SWEARING AS IF I’M IN THE WRONG FOR RIDING MY BIKE IN THE DAMN BIKE LANE??!!

In conclusion, i’m leaving this country as soon as i can, to get away from chav’s and slow people.

I’m not having a go at people with phobias, because i’m sure everyone has something they’re scared of. But i am having a go at people who have irrational phobias.

People should have phobias about things that can harm them, like wasps (they sting), spiders (they bite), the dark/unknown (you don’t know what dangers lurk there), heights (falling and dying), the sea (drowning) etc. Those are all perfectally acceptable phobias, but there are some bloody stupid phobias going around, for example did you see the tv program a few weeks back about a woman who was scared of buttons (yes…buttons, you know, the things on your shirt that hold it all together), she couldn’t even go near a button. I mean what’s all that about, a button’s not gonna hurt you, you stupid cow!

Phobias are imprinted in our brains because we experience something bad, and want to prevent it happening again, or we’re clever enough to forsee something bad happening and we want to prevent it before it does happen. Now how the hell do you get scared of something like the number 10 for example??! How can you have had a bad enough experience with a number, that you never want to see it again? Or are you some psycic weirdo that “forsees” bad things with the number 10??

I feel my points here are well justified, and that phobias should only be allowed for things that can cause you harm, if you hear/see anyone with an irrational phobia give them a slap from me…ok?

Before i start, i’d like to say that this is probably gonna piss a few people off, so i’ll try and hold back on some things. And also, i’d like to say that this isn’t directed towards any religion in particular, it’s directed towards ALL religion (yes, including satanism and any other weird ones you can think of)!

Right then, let’s get started…I fail to see how anyone these days can believe that somebody “created” the universe and everything etc. It’s just plain stupid, that theory is full of holes, what was it doing before it created everything, why did it create everything, what’s it doing now?? Is there absolutly any proof whatever to suggest that someone created us, i think not! Whereas, there’s pleanty of scientific research into the beginnings of the universe (string theory, brane’s colliding, 24 dimentions etc.), and with our current knowledge all of the current scientific theories seem plausable. Altough at the moment we can’t explain everything, we’re getting there.

Another thing stupid people keep going about is “What was there before our universe?”…well…if our universe was created by two branes colliding in a higher dimention, then there would have been these branes floating about, and can’t you retarded people accept that not everything has a beginning and end…maybe those branes have been there all the time…it’s just something you’ve got to accept.

Religion Throughout History:
Back when man was first evolving, and began to think about things, i can understand why they thought that something had to have created everything, because they didn’t know much about the world, and they were basically too stupid to try and find out, so they came up with the best option available… “someone made it”.

Now…this crazy story about Jesus etc. i’m sure it’s just some guy that’s gone around claiming he’s the most religious person in the world and whatnot, and much like chinese whispers, the story’s got exagurated, and over time the writers have added bits and pieces here and there to jazz it up a bit. Much like the story of the monkey king, based the true story of a priest sent to fetch scriptures from India, but somehow turned into a rather entertaining legend about a priest, and an immortal monkey king and friends who fight demons etc.

In the middle ages, was probably first when people started to become aware that it was utter rubbish. The kings and queens of the countries around the world realised that religion was rubbish, and used it to their advantage, and told the stupid masses that they had been chosen by “god” and that they should listen to them. And also, they were using religion as a tool to control the stupid population, if they didn’t want the people to do something, or they wanted them to act a certain way, they only had to tell the churches/other religious buildings across the country, and the people would listen to them. Therefore religion was still useful as a method to control the populus in the middle ages.

After the middle ages, and the introduction of elected leaders and law, was when religion began to die out. Elected leaders could no longer claim to have been chosen by “god”, and since law and order was introduced, religion was no longer as useful for controling the populus. And this is why religion has no place in society today (except maybe in countries that are still ruled by a non-elected leader *cough*dictatorship*cough*)

Some More Potholes In Religion:
Why can’t we just ask “god” to give us a sign it exists? I mean what is it doing that makes it so busy that it can’t give one measly little sign, i mean, god isn’t stopping suffering, not answering peoples wishes, seems like god’s a lazy thing if it exists, and if it’s omnipotent and all powerful, you’d have thought it could do anything and everything all the time. So what the hell is “god” doing right now huh?

Bad Practices In Religion:
Why do some religions have to advertise themselves, don’t they have many people that believe their crap…aww…shame! It’s just so annoying to have certain religions (i can think of at least two), knock on your door, or stop you in the street to beg you to join their crap. I have a theory, that if they can get someone to sign up, then they’re allowed to be set free…and the person that signed up now has to go and get someone else to sign up before they’re set free…maybe that’s why these people seem so desperate?

There…finished, hope i didn’t offend too many people!

UPDATE 13th Jan ’05 (in light of new evidence):

Ok, so over christmas there was this documentary on channel 4 called “Who wrote the bible?”, and this has some very interesting facts, that even you religious people should know…yes…these are FACTS, the show was researched and presented by a christian, and featured pleanty of high ranking religious people (eg, some british bishop, some guy in charge of the oldest piece of the bible still around, some priest guy in charge of the place where jesus was supposedly killed, and later resurrected, some high ranking priest from the vatican city, and pleanty of other theologists, who ALL say that what i’m about to tell you is true!).

Right…here we go…the first part of the bible that was supposedly written by “moses” is not, it is in fact written by 4 different people, each telling 4 different views of god and creation. They were originally 4 different books, and therefore 4 different gods being worshipped at the time. The king of the time (somewhere around 3000BC *i think*) didn’t agree with this, so he consolidated the 4 different views of god into one book, and forced his people to worship one “god” (easy to prove this is true, near the beginning it goes on about god creating animals, then creating man in his own image…but then a little while later it talks of god creating adam & eve…the first people, there are other inconsistincies, where the 4 books weren’t mixed seamlessly, but i can’t remember them off the top of my head, and i’ve never actually read the bible anyway). Now, the rest of the old testement was gradually added by later kings over the years, because they were adding in what they wanted their people to believe, and how they wanted them to act (see…not the word of “god” atall, but instead; the word of a few kings basically writing a law book).

Ok, so now we come to the new testement, which was supposedly written by the disciples of Jesus. Well, in fact, it wasn’t, in fact the new testement was written decades after Jesus died, and not by any of his disciples. The chapters in the new testement are basically written by people who were trying to write a biography of the life of jesus, none of them ever met the man, it was all written down by hear’say, or chinese whispers, so the stories are pretty much only very loosley based on fact, and there’s not much point believing them word for word. Also, it’s worth noting that there were many more attempts at writing biographies for jesus at the time, but when the roman emperor converted to christianity he ordered his scholars to pick the best ones and discard the rest…and so, the new testement was pretty much made (obviously the emperor only picked the ones that sounded good, and fitted in with what he believed, he also rejected all of the biographies that were written by women). Oh, and also, that “threat” at the end of the book…something about not modifing the bible, adding or removing stuff from it, or thou shalt burn in hell…well, that was added (can you guess why?) to stop future generations from adding their own bits to it, like what had been going on for the past 3000 years or so, in an attempt to have a bible that would never change. (imaging what it’d be like today if they hadn’t done that…every king from 100AD onwards adding their own bits to it, it’d be a complete mess!)

Well, anyway, now you know, that the bible is not the word of “god”, it is but an ancient book of laws, and hear’say. Oh, also…this documentary also proved that that oh so famous exodus of jews from egypt never actually happened (something to do with the size of the cities and stuff mentioned in the bible compared with the actual archaeological evidence from israel). It’s also worth noting, that the conclusion the christian presenter came to after finding this out was that “the bible was never meant to be taken literally, and that it is up to us, as christians to see through the political propoganda and hear’say”…well, all i can say is, if you try to see through the political propoganda and hear’say there’s not gonna be a hell of a lot left of the bible, in fact you could probably knock the whole thing down to a couple of pages! “word of god”…hah…that’s a joke! If any of you want proof, i still have the documentary on tape.

Now, since most (probably about 98%) of the visitors to this site are running some form of window$, i feel i’m probably going to be fighting a losing battle here, but here goes…

I’m sure all you window$ users have had window$ crash on you, freeze, or otherwise collapse and die. Well, this almost never happens on linux (or happens MUCH less often than the average “crash every 30mins” window$ system). Also, when there is a bug with windows, or even a major security hole, it could take micro$oft months, or even years to fix the problem, and by that time there will have been more bugs found. Whereas a bug found in Linux (yes it does happen, but far less often than window$) would probably have a fix within days.

Another thing is viruses, yes you heard, viruses. Window$ has hundreds of thousands of potentially damaging viruses, trojans and the like, all of which are pretty commonplace on today’s internet. Whereas linux only has a handful, and the chances of you actually getting one of these is very, very slim, unless you’re a complete idiot, or you purposely download one. The reasons for window$ having so many viruses, and linux so few are as follows:

- File Structure: For a virus in linux to do something really bad, it needs root access, and unless you’re logged in as root, the virus simply won’t do anything. Whereas in window$ you pretty much have access to any file you want, and therefore so do the viruses.

- Number of Users: Since 98% of the world uses window$, most of the virus writers make viruses for window$, simply because they want to affect the most people. So therefore the number of linux viruses being created is pretty small.

- “Window$ just plain sucks!”: The number of securite holes and exploits in window$ is far, far, far greater than in linux, in fact i would say that linux has almost no security holes. Therefore there are more ways to create a virus for window$, and so more viruses are being created.

One common thing people say about linux is that not a lot of programs work on linux, this is true in some respects, but mostly false. A lot of window$ programs might not work very well, or weren’t designed to work on linux, but that doesn’t mean to say they can’t be made to work on linux. I’m sure, with a bit of tinkering you could get most programs to work on linux. If the program still doesn’t want to work even after all your “tinkering” then there’s always wine (no, you don’t need to drown your sorrows just because your program doesn’t work, wine is a windows emulator). Wine is a program that emulates windows, so basically that means that any program that works on windows will work with wine (albeit possibly a little slower). And anyway, who needs windows programs, which cost money, when there’s hordes of free linux programs that do the same job!

Another thing people always think when you say “linux” is that it’s hard to use and install. This is completly untrue, anyone with half a brain that can rtfm (see definition of rtfm) should be able to install, and use linux. Altough if you’re a bit dim, and don’t have half a brain, or can’t read, then you’d be better off not touching a computer, leave that to the rest of us “useful” people.

Also, the average linux distribution takes up far less space than a window$ one, and it loads faster. Which means that you’ve got more room for your own stuff, without having 6GB of space taken up by micro$soft bloatware!

The final good thing about linux is…It’s completly free!! Yes, free, that means no paying £200 for a useless piece of junk that crashes every 30 mins, and has no support. And also, most programs for linux are free aswell, that means no paying another £200 just to get micro$oft word, which you’re only gonna use a couple of times to type a few sentences on!